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• My First Blog Post
  Join along my journey and be apart of my life. — UglyMePodcast Authenticity is what matters most and me being truly myself, I’m glad to say… this is my first official blog! Most importantly, thank you to all my grand supporters, to my soon to be loyal and loving… not followers, but friends, readers, and […]

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To Me, From Me

I’m thinking…

and thinking…

I’m starting to wonder if the military… yeah, I said it. The MILITARY, ok.

Here me out though.

I’m starting to wonder if the military was a mistake…

a H U G E one.

“Here me out though…”

-UglyMe Podcast

Considering the military, requirements do tend to be very extensive.

For someone to join and be apart of the nations armed forces, requires and is willing to be mentally and physically fit, and is able to withstand the amount of pressure.

Personally, I’m not all that strong at heart.

The feeling of isolation, loneliness, the loss of someone, past trauma, feeling low with lack of motivation, hopeless…

with no purpose or goal in life.

“Personally, I’m not all that strong at heart.”

-UglyMe Podcast

Chest heaviness, due to an increase of perceived stress.

Lack of interest in the daily hobbies I previously enjoyed.

Sleeping too much, yet I still feel sluggish and sleepy. I’m in bed all day just wanting to stay indoors and be alone.

Sometimes I find myself staring at nothing.

Not wanting to speak with anyone, and distancing myself from my family and friends.

Total I S O L A T I O N .

Junk food and caffeine drinks. With little intake of food.

The most common question, why are you depressed? Have you attempted or considered suicide?

Everything always happens for a reason.

It’s how everything first started.

…but over time it’s more of a feeling than why it’s occurring.

There’s still that part of me that drags me down.

There’s days I wish I could die in my sleep, but so I don’t have to wake up to the same routine everyday.

D O W N E R .

I feel like I’m in a loop, same day over and over.

I feel like I’m a prisoner, even though I signed up.

My thoughts get darker.

I feel trapped.

Recruiters fail to mention the agony of joining the military.

“I’m happy. I’m sad. I’m me.”

-UglyMe Podcast